This is a very serious inquiry. It effects my mental and physical well being. I have many questions I wish to receive honest and helpful opinions of..
I am a twenty year old girl who I believe to posses strong traits of empathy and spirituality. I believe in all religions, but I wouldn’t call myself religious. I believe in God and that the Universe is of our highest divine source. My personality would lead to present more Buddhist/Zen perspectives as I act out of Love and believe to radiate and act with positive energy and mindfulness.
Recently I’ve moved into one of our towns oldest and historically land marked buildings. This building was a hotel but has since turned into a bar and hostel with rooms still containing the buildings original furniture. (Brass headboard beds, old ceramic colossal tubs with brass eagle legs and pictures from when it was first built.) The town itself is believed to be cursed by an Indian Chief. As in when it was first discovered the town founder had betrayed this Chiefs trust and so he cast a curse which would forever hold nature against its favor. Coincidentally the town later would flood every year destroying homes and properties. It lit fire almost destroying the town more then once.
The building I live in is said to have almost burnt down twice with these fires. Killing victims with it each time. Children, men, women. Its always been said haunted due to sighting and paranormal unexplained experiences. These experiences include: seeing a old lady in lovely dress powdering her face in the second floor bathroom. Children playing with one another in the staircase and/or running up and down stairs or hallways. A man in the bar who walks back and forth, sometimes unplugging plugging in devices or knocking on the doors. I haven’t seen any of these spirits but have a friend who is very connected to the spirit realm. There is a boy, who especially takes a liking to her and talks to her when she comes. She says he sits on the bottom step with a ball in his hand waiting for his friend. I have never received any sudden signs of a spirit presence from these spirits. But believe there is more then plenty of truth to believe they exist.
Before this moment, I experienced what I believe are indirect encounters such as: knocking on my door, laughing in the hallways, hearing steps down/ up stairs. Tapping on the window. Sounds of paper being ruffled through. I admit to have always been scared/ yet open to negative energy. Hoping it wouldn’t follow me. Recently I’ve been experiencing uneasy vibes around me. Black masses that pass before me, hang around the corner of my eye, even a red mass has shortly been seen stand beside the wardrobe. Mostly I’ve seen transparent smoke like blurred masses of what appears to be tall humanly shaped forms. When I see these masses I feel there is something I’m needed to help with.
Im going to jump back a little and state I’ve been in two rooms prior and had no doubts it was haunted or present with spirits. It wasn’t until entering this room that Ive heard voices in my head taunting, mocking and making fun of the fears and qualities I have. I know these are not my thoughts because I’ve never talked to myself with such negative hateful comments. There was a suicide committed in this room two or three years ago and I am not sure if its connected me somehow to these thoughts and masses. These voices mimic my loved friends and talk in my ear about me for hours. Making me feel horrible and unworthy to life. I know these thoughts aren’t mine because they try to urge me to get angry and confront these people. I know in my heart these thoughts aren’t mine and that the friends in them aren’t talking about me. I started talking to them and they answer back with things that never crossed my mind or have heard these people say.. These aren’t just auditory hallucinations..
I also experience ringing in my ears almost constantly, soft ringing and destructive, cold air that raises hair on my arm, tingly arm/leg (s), lightheartedness. Theres one girl wjo is is my head the most. She narrates my life and mocks me as I try to live through the day. I cant sleep anymore with these voices of torment. During the night there is my boyfriends voice, or one of his close friends voice. These friends are always hanging out at our house and are trusted by him and so trusted by me. They tell him how horrible I am. This girl sometimes sticks up for me when the men are present but otherwise shes apart of it. I hear what to me are full conversations. When there is no sound I hear faint nothings at all but the louder the sound the louder the voices. These voices also mimic and speak above my own thoughts.
When I was in bed last night I was told they were all around me. I could see transparent masses on the bed and sitting or standing. I was told there were four or five different people in my room. One always wanted to get inside my head and I feel like I actually let it inside. One I was able to push away but still hovered above me or my boyfriend laying next to me and one, who kept their distance from me and sat across the room. Throughout the day these masses dark or clear always stay close. One time I was made to believe so much that I should harm myself I almost did. Or another I saw a black shadow going to touch my back and I jumped at its presence.. I cant turn off these voices or change what they say or talk about.
Each day occurrences get more intense and I get more scared and feel that attracts more and makes me an open target. I couldn’t even meditate last night without the constant yammer and disapproval of these words. Often I would have white lights come through the black but no amount of focus could stop the blackness from entering. I’m fearful of getting left alone most times, for I don’t know if I know what to do is such events as apparitions or possessions took place. I know I’m not crazy, but I feel like could very well open up to vulnerability without meaning to.
Are these scenarios just in my head or should I do a through self and house cleanse to disattach myself from these. I even took it upon myself to ask god to help remove them from my presence and slowly I felt pressure relieved from my mind, yet I was getting pushed back against. I don’t need anti-psychotics. I need another perspective solution.. Please help me find out what I may need to do. If one of these spirits needs help I will do my best to help them find peace too.
Asked by Hope
