General Questions

Doubts About Thoughts

Hi Ama & everyone,

It’s me again. I’m fearing that every time I say out aloud “I miss you, grandpa”, I’m bounding his spirit to this plane (something I don’t really want to).

It’s been a constant for 2 months now, every 19th I can’t stop thinking about how much I miss him. That this December will be the first time I won’t have any more grandpas around (still have my two grandmas). That next year, on my & his birthday, he won’t be around.

He said goodbye in a beautiful way (gave me my first vision as I told you months ago) but it was too soon (the very next day after we buried him). I want to have another contact with him. I’m not sure if he’ll visit me in my dream because of him saying goodbye.

Am I hurting him every time I say these words? This is how it usually goes: “I miss you, grandpa. I hope you’re well and happy wherever you are. I want to know if your loved ones that already passed away are with you.”

Hope someone can help me.


PS: I tried to write down in a paper to dream about my maternal great-grandmother (whom I never met in my life since she passed away before I was born) and it didn’t work. Was that little fact (not spending time with her) the reason why it didn’t work?

Asked by Marina

8 replies on “Doubts About Thoughts”

Hi Marina,

I miss my friend Stefan. He died three years ago. I still visit his facebook site and leave messages, as does many of his other friends, in a variety of different languages. No .. it really does not bind a spirit to the planet to say that we miss them. It just means we love them, and love is always good.

As to not meeting your great-grandmother in a dream .. she might have already reincarnated .. so she would not be coming to visit. Let it go. Get on with your life. You never know who you might meet around the corner, and feel a real heart-felt connection to him/her.

Love & Peace

Thanks for your answer, Ama. You relieved my soul with that knowledge!

Now, about my great grand-ma, please don’t take this in the wrong way: but how could she be already reincarnated & still visit her daughter & granddaughter (my mom) in dreams from time to time? That’s why I don’t understand why she can’t visit me too & think the reason is because her & I didn’t spend any time together.

Though you’re right. It’s turning into an obssession the desire to see her in my dreams. It’s hard to let it go, but I’ll have to try it at least. I’m not sure how I’m going to respond if my granny tells me she dreamt of her mommy.

Love & Peace

Hi Marina,

The harder you try to see someone, the less likely it appears to happen. Just let go. Try the attitude “If she comes, lovely, if not, no problem”.

Perhaps ask yourself ‘why’ you want her to come to you in a dream? Unless there’s a very good reason, most spirits don’t visit the living .. only ghosts do, and they are better off in heaven. It might be that you don’t need a visit from the lady, while other members of your family do, because of grieving or something like that?

Ghosts – as an example there is my grandmother, who died eight years before I was born. She was around me all through childhood .. it took me a lot of years to understand that she was a ghost until she crossed over when I was twenty-nine. I loved her for being there, and grieved as though she had just died when I realised she was not there anymore. I was being haunted, which added to the negative emotional load I was carrying, not because my grandmother wanted to, but because she had not let go of her personality, fears and phobias .. which we do once we cross into heaven.

Add in that some people have a gift for seeing spirits, some for ghosts, some for both, and then some people see neither .. frustrating but true. Some members of your family might have one or the other or neither.

And then there is the possibility that the person appearing as your grandmother in your family’s dreams is not actually her, but a memory, or representation of her .. created from an emotional need or want, which can also happen.

As you can see, it can be complicated.

Love & Peace

I see. At least it’s a good reason to me why I want to meet her in a dream– I want to know more about her than what my family has told me about.

Everyone in my family has told me she was a very caring granny and I want to see it for myself. Since I didn’t spend too much time with any of my great-grandma (because of distance & death), I feel they’re not my experience with her. I want at least knowing it’s not going to be real, have a chance to hear what her thoughts were towards being a great-granny. If she’d have liked to meet at least most of them (not just the very first).

I think that’s the driving force for me to seek out that meeting. She spent (albeit little) time with 1 great-grandchild. (By the way, she passed away in 1978 & I was born in 1984).

I don’t want to be haunted by her, only a chance to meet her and see if the stories my family told me are real or they embellished them because of her passing. Though every single member in my family told me the very exact stories (with the same words–something that I find it odd for an embellished story).

Love & Peace

Hello again, Marina,

From the perspective of the higher planes of existence, an ego driven want is not a good reason for someone popping in to answer your questions. You really don’t ‘need’ the answers to live a good life, you only ‘want’ them to see if your family is lying to you or not. If they aren’t lying, you have proved your lack of trust in what they say – if they are, what will you do about it? You don’t need to answer those questions (perhaps one of your life lessons this time around is ‘trust’), just let go of it, before it becomes an obsession. When you cross over all your questions will be answered .. until then, your great grandma is in heaven now, and we are not really supposed to talk to those who have crossed over .. we are supposed to let them go – and get on with our own lives.

My grandmother was haunted by memories of her behaviour to her own children, one of them her daughter, my mother. I was the oldest grandchild. She tried to protect me from a difficult upbringing. It was a way to help her heal, and keep me on the right path so that I could grow up to be a help to others. That is a good reason for staying long past the time she should have crossed into heaven, or she thought it was. I remember her with much love, I think that helped.

Love & Peace

Hi, Ama

Well, your answer as always was full of knowledge and wisdom. Though, I don’t like it, I’ll have to accept it. The Universe must know in its wisdom what’s the best for each person.

I’m not sure if what happened to me 16 years ago has something to do with my life lesson this time around. You’ll see, up until 2000, I always trusted my classmates. Then, one day, I realized I was wrong. They used me to get through high school. Since then, I don’t trust so easily on what other people say or do to convince me to help them.

Another thing I always ask myself (though I’m sure everyone ask themselves) this is: How can I find out what my life lessons for this life are? What is my purpose in this lifetime?

Life lessons and purpose are two different things. Our purpose as humans is to live a good and honourable life, serve others, learn our life lessons and then have a holiday between lives. Humanity was created to be creators, to take challenges and find useful and loving solutions to them. To learn and to grow through lifetime after lifetime on a planet that thrives on chaos and confusion.

Life lessons are the challenges we set ourselves, such as learning to trust by experiencing the opposite. Learning to rise above (my mother would kill me .. well not literally .. for writing those words LOL), so let’s say .. seeing the actions of others from a more loving perspective, and a more forgiving one. To learn to love unconditionally. That’s a doosy. To accept everyone regardless of their differences and the challenges they present to us. There’s an understanding among most metaphysical folk that we create our reality, we choose all our problems (including the people who are the problems) and our families and those people who come into our lives to teach us the greatest lessons .. usually painfully. Humans learn best when challenged!! The rest of the time, we like to .. what .. sit on a beach (or peer) and watch the fish (husband Tom and my mother were discussing going to the beach, or a river, after Xmas for a short holiday a few minutes ago .. I like watching fish). You’ll know your lessons because they are the patterns in your life that keep repeating .. such as trusting others, such as learning patience, such as trying to find a way to break through a barrier created by others, if the motive is for the best for all people, and not just because your ego demands it. The ego is a lesson in itself. It should be a quiet cautious voice, not a raucous noise that drives you to worry and despair. Such a lot to learn in such a short time, for the average lifetime is not long enough to really understand something like unconditional acceptance of others, which is why we have the opportunity to have more than one. Always by choice, as humans have free will.

I have waffled on.

I know the challenge of trusting and being hurt, don’t let it stop you from trusting others. The hurt comes from the inner child, that demanding ego, that says you deserve better .. and so you do .. but those that hurt you are there because you asked for the lessons they provide .. so find that higher place within yourself and just let go. It’s amazing how much love flows in when we stop fearing being loved .. and trusted. And with it comes joy and peace.

Which is why my signoff is ..
Love & Peace

Thanks Ama, now I understand the differences between life lessons & purpose in life. I always thought they were the same thing.

I’m going try to let go of the ego too. Maybe it’s not going to be an easy task, but I’m thinking it’s one of my lessons now.

Love & Peace