Hello there, I’m Julia and I’m Italian (sorry in advance for the bad grammar).
I’m 32 and my entire life I felt like being protected or bonded to something, it’s just my guts. A little background info on my childhood:
When I was around 7 my family and I were moving to another house. While removing my bed, my mom noticed a bunch of red hair put together in a red string under my mattress and asked me what it was. I had no clue, and since we are all blonde in the family it felt strange. My mom anyway trow away the hair and don’t think about it. Little time later I began experiencing strange things. At night, almost every night, I felt like someone was sitting on the bad while I was asleep, but always wake up when happens. The first time it occurred i asked my mom and my dad if they on my bed last night and they told me they didn’t. So when happened again many as many times I was scared to death since i knew it wasn’t my parents and never dared to look who it was.
Then one morning I woke up just to see a hand waving at me from the side of my pillow, scared to death I run to my parents bed crying and they didn’t believed me of course.
The times passed by and while I get older I started practicing black magic. My instinct told me I had the ability to master magic and dark forces. And so it was. I was brilliant in curses and divination, when I read hand or tarots I had vision of the past of the person I was reading and never fail. I was 18 and the people I read were impressed and terrified at the same time. I felt like I had a gift, so i started digging in demonology and studying demons. I was particularly fascinated whit asmodeus and belial, but things got scary after trying some summoning so I quit everything 2 years after. The thing the scariest me the most was that for 1 week every night the sound of an owl appeared in my room. Every single night. Even my parent heared and never been able to understand what the hell it was. I consulted with a priestess and she told me it was Lilith warning me, and it scared the shi* out of me.
I quit magic and throw away any single book or item related to magic.
In the meantime i changed sex from men to women (long looong story) and at 22 I started living as a regular woman, doing a regular job and being engaged to an amazing man although having this feeling in my guts of something watching over me. I did some very messed up thing in my life but always being unermed. Like something or someone protecting me.
Then 2 years ago something changed. Everything fell apart. I began being addicted to oxycodone, broke up with my fiancée and my dad died. All in the lapse of 2 years.
During the last year every night, before I fall asleep, I felt this strong strong presence in the room. Literally something watching. Then the sleep paralisys began. Almost 3 per week. Initially scared I began searching things up and found how sleep paralysis could be used to out of body experiences. So I began to not being scared and after some time I learned how to get my soul out of my body. Right now I’m able to get out of my body almost every nignt. Also before fall asleep I heard voices in my head. Like hearing someone talking, and be able to see in my mind places I never been. I don’t know how to explain that, but searching it I found it could be remote wieving. I don’t know.
I do know however that a demon can talk to you by telepathy. And when I ask “who are you?” Or “are u here for me?” Almost immediately he or she answer trough my toughs with things like “everything s gonna be fine Julia” or “I’m here for you”
I don’t know if I have a gift or some entity around me, fact is that the background of my family let me suspicious. My mom used to be a nun. She left church when she was 30 and started dating. She aborted her first child 2 years after leaving the curch and then had me whit my dad. They gave me the second name Maria, In Italian for the Virgin Mary. Then I changed sex. And I was thinking…all these sins, the fact that my mom was a nun,, my sex change and stuff against gods will, may have attracted a demon? Wha is was that hair under my bed? I’m a demonically influences? I feel very very attracted to the dark side, I’ve always been. Always fascinated about how lucifer fell and why he fell. Fascinated with death and violence, always had a morbid curiosity about everything dark and evil. I’m a psyco? Lol. Any suggestions or idea are really appreciated because I don’t know if all these thing are coincidence or have any meaning.
Thank you all.
Asked by Julia